Pirates of the Caribbean The Musical: An Expose
by potc-the-musical
Summary: If there was a POTC Musical, can you imagine what would take place during rehearsals? We can! From wardrobe malfunctions, funky songs and hopefully sidesplitting humor, an expose of what happens behind the curtains.  Sparrabeth pairing & OOC for humor :D
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: After much intensive and costly therapy, we can admit we do not own Pirates of the Caribbean...or Jack "McHottie" Sparrow.**

**ooOoo**

POTC MUSICAL

Scene 1:

Director: Alright people, places! Now... Our musical is about this person and another person who happens to like another person but the other person can't tell the another person because the person-

Will: I'm afraid you aren't making any sense.

Director: No one asked you. Anyway, has anybody heard of the song, "Stupid Cupid"?

Liz: Are we singing that?

Director: Yes, YOU are. Now, it goes like this... [plays Mandy Moore version, as played in the Soundtrack Princess Diaries, which I hope and assume you've already watched and heard the song. If not, well, you may want to listen to it. Also, let's be glad that they're all drunk, although Liz and WIll are sober enough. Jack, well, he's drunk. totally. Maybe we get to see him strip. .. DId i say that? NO I DIDN'T. [awkward silence err... okay.

Liz: Alright then. What's our story?

Director: Oh.. You guys just randomly sing songs and we'll see if people could imagine you guys singing the EXACT song... I'll describe to them what you guys are supposed to be doing, and they'll watch it in their heads. Is that fair[turns to audience, and smiles sweetly alrighty then. Oh, and there never really was a story. I just like confusing people.

Liz, you start. Here... [hands her copy

Liz[wearing a school uniform _Stupid Cupid you're a real mean guy_

_I'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly_

_I am in love and it's a crying shame_

_And I know that you're the one to blame_

_Hey hey set me free_

_Stupid Cupid stop picking on me_

Director: ALright. That... looked. real. weird. Let's try another one.. Okay Will. yours is "This Love", by Maroon 5. Inspired by a fanfiction I read about you guys finally immortal. anyway-

Jack: We get to be immortal? We finally reach the fountain of youth and we ARE immortal?

Director: In the particular story, sort of. ANyway-

Jack: Well... I suspect that I finally have the pearl then, right?

Director: Not quite. Well-

Jack: What?!

Director: I'll give the site address next time, alright? here.. Will... [plays music, and gives will copy of lyrics Well, let's try it.

Will[wears a leather Jacket, black shirt, jeans, and sun glasses to match. Oh, and hair in a ponytail

_I was so high I did not recognize_

_The fire burning in her eyes_

_The chaos that controlled my mind_

_Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane_

_Never to return again_

_But always in my heart_

_This love has taken its toll on me_

_She said goodbye too many times before_

_And her heart is breaking in front of me_

_I have no choice cause I wont say goodbye anymore_

Director: The song could work, but the outfit doesn't. Who picked that horrible thing off the rack for you?

Will: But Jack said it looked- JACK[stalks off to find Jack

Director: JACK[Jack walks over once Will is out of the room, still looking for him This is your song... actually, I want you to dance to the song, "Sexyback", while singing it, savvy?

Jack: OI! Only I could use that word in this silly little post of yours.

Director: Yeah... sure. whatever. Alrighty then... [plays instrumental to which Jack would sing

Jack[wearing... retaining the dreadlocks but dressed like this (http://121(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/b298/pinkdiva71803/POTC/sweeney0073(dot)jpg) dances, and sings, and strips. yeah, strips. he's drunk, remember?

I'm bringing sexy back

Them other boys don't know how to act

I think you're special, what's behind your back?

So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.

Take 'em to the bridge

Dirty babe

You see the shackles

Baby I'm your slave

I'll let you whip me if I misbehave

It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take 'em to the chorus

Come here girl

Go ahead, be gone with it

Come to the back

Go ahead, be gone with it

VIP

Go ahead, be gone with it

Drinks on me

Go ahead, be gone with it

Let me see what you're working with

Go ahead, be gone with it

Look at those hips

Go ahead, be gone with it

You make me smile

Go ahead, be gone with it

Go ahead child

Go ahead, be gone with it

And get your sexy on

Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on

Go ahead, be gone with it

(6x)

Get your sexy on

I'm bringing sexy back

Them other don't know how to act

Come let me make up for the things you lack

'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast

Take 'em to the bridge

I'm bringing sexy back

You watch how I attack

If that's your girl you better watch your back

Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact

Take 'em to the chorus

(Chorus)

Will: YOU LET HIM FINISH IT and we CAN'T?!

Director[sighs happily But he's so hot... I can't stop drooling at his... yumminess. Oh, by the way people, he never got around to removing his... under...clothes. He collapsed right after the song number.

Will[face disgusted

Director: Oh stop that Will. It's not like you didn't find him attractive.

Will[reddens Those insults are for Beckett!

Director: But it works on you. At times anyway.

**ooOoo**

**A/N: So...cue applause or boos? Let us know! If you've got any ideas for a song, just let us know! We're always looking for more ideas :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Psh, yeah. We own POTC, I'm mickey mouse! I wish...**

**A/N: Links go to saucy (but T rated) costumes :)**

**ooOoo**

Assistant Director: Director, we're running behind schedule...

Director: Alright, alright. Scarlette! Gissele! Get out here, its your curtain call[mumbles to Assistant Director Why can't they get out here on time, aren't they supposed to be "call girls". Ah, there you are.

Giselle: Is it time for our big number?

Scarlette: Will...I've been in the dressing room putting on my costume..what do you think? (here's the costume with brown wig: http://www(dot)4halloweencostumes(dot)com/images/uw28593(dot)jpg)

Giselle: Will likes mine better, don't you? ([simpers)) (heres what it would look like: http://www(dot)eveningelegance(dot)com/costumes/products/230rd-m(dot)jpg)

Will:[reddens and stutters, staring at legs and cleavage

Elizabeth and other female cast members[slap

Jack[points and laughs

Director: Enough! Cue music!

[Scarlette, Giselle (S/G) and Jack begin singing and dancing...

Jack: Hi Stumpets!

S/G: Hi Jack!

Jack: Do you wanna go for a ride on the Pearl[wiggles eyebrows

S/G Sure Jack!

Jack: Hop on!

[music begins

We are strumpet girls, in the pirate world

We're not sarcastic, it's fantastic!

You can brush our hair, undress us everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Come on girlies, let's go party!

We are strumpet girls, in the pirate world

We're not sarcastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush our hair, undress us everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Giselle: I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world

Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly

You're my doll, let's go roll, feel the glamour in lace,

kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "Arr, I'm always yours"

(uu-oooh-u)

Both:We are strumpet girls, in the pirate world

We're not sarcastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

Jack: Come on hottie, let's go party!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on girlie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

S/G: Make us walk, make us talk, do whatever you please

We can act like a star, we can beg on our knees

Giselle:Come jump in, red haired friend, let us do it again,

hit the town, fool around, let's go party

S/G:You can touch, you can play, if you say: "Arr, I'm always yours"

You can touch, you can play, if you say: "Arr,I'm always yours"

Jack: Come on cutie, let's go whoopee!

(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)

Come on girlie, let's go party!

(uu-oooh-u)

S/G: We are strumpet girls, in the pirate world

We're not sarcastic, it's fantastic!

you can brush our hair, undress us everywhere

Imagination, life is your creation

[end song, hearty applause from all male participants

Assistant director: Wowwwww...what's this musical rated again?

Jack: I love it! Drinks all around! Lizzie, did Giselle borrow that from you? Looks familiar...

Elizabeth[blushes

**ooOoo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: We don't own POTC, there!**

**A/N: Format reminder[brackets indicate a character's actions, savvy?**

Director: Now.. call Beckett in please... We have a... very, special, number for him.

Groves: Yes Ma'am...

Beckett: what in the world do you need me for? I CAN'T SING!

Director: If I say you can, you can! It's OUR MUSICAL, and you guys go by our rules!

Assistant director[nods, and get's back to fixing Will's wardrobe for his next act

Director: See. Anyway, have you ever heard of the song, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" by britney spears?

Beckett: WHAT?! AM I GOING TO SING THAT?! I can't! It's a girl's song! I'm a bloody man!

Drrector: Oh, pish posh, As i've said, our musical!

Beckett: Alright already! But you're going to pay for this. [wearing a red halter dress, wig and hat on for easy recognition

I used to think

I had the answers to everything,

But now I know

Life doesn't always go my way, yeah...

Feels like I'm caught in the middle

That's when I realize...

[Chorus:

I'm not a girl,

Not yet a woman.

All I need is time,

A moment that is mine,

While I'm in between.

[Verse 2

I'm not a girl,

There is no need to protect me.

It's time that I

Learn to face up to this on my own.

I've seen so much more than you know now,

So don't tell me to shut my eyes.

[Chorus

I'm not a girl,

But if you look at me closely,

You will see it my eyes.

This girl will always find

Her way.

I'm not a girl

(I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe).

Not Yet a woman

(I'm just trying to find the woman in me, yeah).

All I need is time (All I need),

A moment that is mine (That is mine),

While I'm in between.

I'm not a girl

Not yet a woman

All I need is time (All I need),

A moment that is mine,

While I'm in between.

I'm not a girl,

Not yet a woman.

Director: IT WORKS! you finally admitted that you're gay, and it actually looks awesome! and your threat didn't work, and was empty... you did do it anyway...

Beckett: This feels. liberating. [tries to contain anger and happiness [reddens

[CAST LAUGHS


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: sob We don't own them, so please don't sue!**

**ooOoo**

Lizzie[comes in short nightgown and with pillow starts singing

My bonnie is over the ocen,

my bonnie is over the sea,

my bonnie is over the ocean,

come and bring back my bonnie to me.

Bring back, my Jack,

oh bring back my bonnie to me to me,

bring back, my Jack,

and a pirates life for me.

Last night I lay on me pillow,

Last night I lay on my deck,

last night I lay on mw pillow,

I thought this pillow was Jack.

Bring back, my Jack,

oh bring back my bonnie to me to me,

bring back, my Jack,

and a pirates life for me.

The winds have blown over the ocean,

the winds have blown over the sea,

the winds have blown over the ocean,

and brought back my bonnie to me.

brought back, my Jack,

oh brought back my bonnie to me to me,

brought back, my Jack,

and a pirates life for me.

Director: No, not good, there has to be Will's scene before!

Liz: Well, I'm sorry then, but Jack told me I have to sing now.

Director: That's because you were wearing the stupid nightgown.. Don't you get it??

Liz: JACK[stalks off to find Jack

Jack: Aye, love?

Liz: You stupid, bloody... Jack, it was extremely stupid from you, I shouldn't sing in these undergarments, yyou know, it's impolite and it's your fault, now I look like totaly blonde.

Jack: Calm down, love, be happy you didn't have to sing naked.

Liz: You would send me naked to sing?

Jack: No, but it was in the script, you didn't read it?

Liz: eh, not too much,

Jack: well, go then and tell the Director your opinion.

Director: NO! I didn't.. JACK[checks script YOU CHANGED THE BLOODY SCRIPT!

Jack: Burn! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Lizzie[slap

Jack[rubs cheek 'spose I deserved that...

**ooOoo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: sigh We don't own Pirates of the Caribbean. Happy? We just manipulate the characters and make them sing :p**

**A/N: Warning: a bit of willabeth from Will himself**

**ooOoo**

Assistant director: Um, Director[taps shoulder again Shouldn't we have a nice angsty father-son piece in the musical?

Director: Depends on the cast and the song.

Assistant Director: Meaning...?

Director: To put it bluntly...if it doesn't have Jack looking hot or without a shirt, its a no-go.

Assistant Director: Will! Jack! Come do puppy eyes with me!

AD, Will and Jack[huge adorable brown puppy eyes at the Director Wook at our widdle faces!

Director: Awww...Jack looks so sweet! Okay...

Assistant Director: Will, get your pop out here along with the crew. We've got a show to do. Thanks for the help, Jack.

Jack: No problem, love. We're square.

Assistant Director: Wardrobe check! Okay...all looks good. Cue music!

[Calypso steel drums begin to play as "Under The Sea" begins

Bootstrap: The seaweed is always greener

In somebody else's lake

Davy Jones:You dream about going up there

But that is a big mistake

Bootstrap: Just look at the world around you

Right here on the ocean floor

Such wonderful things surround you

What more is you lookin' for?

Will:[spoken Well actually, I'd like to be with my childhood sweetheart, Eliz..

Davy and Bootstrap and FD crew: Under the sea, Under the sea!

Sonny it's better

Down where it's wetter

Davy: Take it from me!!!!!

Up on the shore they work all day

Out in the sun they slave away

While we devotin'

Full time to floatin'

Under the sea

Wyvern: Down here all the fish is happy

As off through the waves they roll

The fish on the land ain't happy

They sad 'cause they in their bowl

But fish in the bowl is lucky

They in for a worser fate

One day when the boss get hungry

Davy: Guess who's gon' be on the plate! Under the sea! Under the sea!

Bootstrap: Nobody beat us

Fry us and eat us

In fricassee

We what the land folks loves to cook

Under the sea we off the hook

We got no troubles

Life is the bubbles

Davy: Under the sea!

Crew: Under the sea

Since life is sweet here

We got the beat here

Naturally

Even the sturgeon an' the ray

They get the urge 'n' start to play

We got the spirit

You got to hear it

Under the sea

Under the sea

Under the sea

When the sardine

Begin the beguine

It's music to me

Bootstrap: What do they got? A lot of sand!

Will: No they've also got...

Davy: We got a hot crustacean band!

Crew: Each little clam here

know how to jam here

Under the sea

Each little slug here

Cuttin' a rug here

Under the sea

Each little snail here

Know how to wail here

That's why it's hotter

Under the water

Ya we in luck here

Down in the muck here

All:Under the sea!

[music ends

**ooOoo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: If we owned POTC, we wouldn't be writing fanfiction...savvy?**

**A/N: We introduce an OC in this chapter, "Sailor" - she is based of a member of a forum where this story was originally written and she requested this number :-p Sailor, this one's for you...**

**ooOoo**

Director: And because I love Sailor so much, I'm going to give her a special song, by our James Norrington. And maybe later, for ALL the Jack fans out there, we're gonna have him dance to another, and maybe strip- I mean, sing, to it too... [winks He's going to sing, "Signal Fire" by Snow Patrol... If you don't know the song, then you better check it out...

James[clears throat I would like to dedicate this to Sailor... [indicates sailor in the front row (he's wearing his uniform, and throws his hat to Sailor)

The perfect words never crossed my mind,

'cause there was nothing in there but you,

I felt every ounce of me screaming out,

But the sound was trapped deep in me,

All I wanted just sped right past me,

While I was rooted fast to the earth,

I could be stuck here for a thousand years,

Without your arms to drag me out,

There you are standing right in front of me (x2)

All this fear falls away to leave me naked,

Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety

No I won't wait forever(2x)

In the confusion and the aftermath,

You are my signal fire,

The only resolution and the only joy,

Is the faint spark of forgiveness in your eyes,

There you are standing right in front of me (x2)

All this fear falls away to leave me naked,

Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,

There you are standing right in front of me (x2)

All this fear falls away to leave me naked,

Hold me close cause I need you to guide me to safety,

No I won't wait forever(x3)

Director: That was sweeeeeet! I wish Jack would sing ME something like that... But, I guess i have to settle for him dancing... [sighs dreamily I am SOOO going to look for something for him to sing and dance to!! jumps off stage and runs to find a new song Stage is yours for the moment, Assistant Director!

**ooOoo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, it all belongs to the Mouse.**

**ooOoo**

Director: And for now, I want Will to sing a little song... Just for him to shut up for a while.. he's been.. bawling, a lot lately... complaining.. rambling... those-

Will: Why don't I have my bloody own number! Everyone knows I'm a good singer, a great one at that! 'A terrific soprano', as Jack once said! I deserve my own portion in this show!

Dircetor: Alright... ALRIGHT already! here... sing this song: "Because you Live" By jesse mccartney. Check it out guys, if you haven't heard it yet. It's a real.. uh, willabeth song, so pardon this post please. It's just that WILL'S BEEN BUGGING ME ALL DAY!

Will[wearing what he wore to the KCA 2007

Staring out at the rain, with a heavy heart

It's the end of the world in my mind

Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call

I've been looking for the answer, somewhere

I couldn't see that it was right there

But now I know what I didn't know

Because you live, and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help

Because you live girl, my world has twice as many stars in the sky

It's all right I survived I'm alive again

Cuz of you made it through every storm

What is life what's the use if you're killing time

I'm so glad I found an angel, somewhere

Who was there when all my hopes fell

I wanna fly looking in your eyes

Because you live, and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help

Because you live girl (you live) my world has twice as many stars in the sky

Because you live, I live

Because you live, there's a reason why, I carry on when I lose the fight

I want to give what you've given me always

Because you live, and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help(when no one else can help)

Because you live girl, my world(my world) has twice as many stars in the sky

Because you live, and breathe

Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help

Because you live girl,(cuz you live) my world has everything I need to survive,

Because you live, I live

I live

[music fades

Lizzie: That is soo... sweet Will[hugs him

Will[blushes Thanks.

Lizzie: But.. I can't choose you...

Will: Why.. why not?

Lizzie: because... well, Jack is sexier.. did you see how he pulled Sexyback off[stalks off to find Jack

**ooOoo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: We don't own them, we just put them in awkward situations and enjoy it. Mwahahah**

**ooOoo**

Assistant Director: lunch break's over people, back to work.

Director: Alright, who hasn't had a number yet?

Barbossa: Me, Masters Pintel and Ragetti.

Ragetti: Suffered I have!

Barbossa[rolls eyes

Jack: Why is the rum always gone?

Director: Where's the rum gone?

Assistant director: Jaeh, I had to hide it so he'd be a little sober to do another song.

Director[pouts but he's hotter when he's drunk, he does that swagger where his hips move back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and...

Will: WE GET IT!!!!

Assistant Director: Weren't you supposed to go to your anger management class?

Will: I DON'T NEED A BLOODY ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS.

Jack: Let it out mate, let it out. [pats back

Beckett[scoffs Imbecile.

Assistant Director: Okay, okay, lets keep it together people! Barbossa, you're up.

Barbossa: Aye, that be true. Hit it!

[Bosun begins playing guitar

Barbossa[yells Arrrr ye ready to rock, mateys?!?!

On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round

And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found

The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one alone

She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone

Bad to the bone

Bad to the bone

Pintel and Ragetti:B-B-B-B-Bad to the bone

B-B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-B-Bad

Barbossa: Bad to the bone

I broke a thousand hearts, before I met you

Elizabeth: Hmph!

Barbossa: I'll break a thousand more baby, before I am through

I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone

I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone

Bad to the bone

Pintel and Ragetti:B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-Bad

Bad to the bone

Barbossa:

I make a rich woman beg, I'll make a good woman steal

I'll make an old woman blush, and make a young woman squeal

I wanna be yours pretty baby, yours and yours alone

I'm here to tell ya honey, that I'm bad to the bone

B-B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-B-Bad

B-B-B-B-Bad

Bad to the bone

Barbossa: ARRRRRRR[rips off shirt

Director: oh! I'm blind! The whiteness!

Gov. Swann: Put your shirt back on, man! Have you taken leave of your senses?

Lizzie: Ew!!!!

Assistant Director: Well...that was...illuminating to say the least. Good job, just stick to the scripted ending, kay?

Barbossa[grumbles about freedom of expression

Jack: Hector, mate, you're expressing something that need not be expressed, savvy?

Assistant Director: Jaeh, ready to take over?

Director: I can't see, I can't see[rocks back and forth, mumbling "he took his shirt off, ew ew ew".

Assistant Director: Okay...Jack, you're up again. Let's give this song a try and see if it works. Remember you're singing about Elizabeth and she's the only other girl on stage, so don't start staring at somebody else okay?

Jack: yeah, yeah, sure. Just play the song already, I want me rum.

Assistant director: Okay fine! Gosh, who knew pirates could be such divas! The song is called "I Want Candy" by Aaron Carter, but we're changing it to "I Want Lizzie"

Jack: Got it.

[music plays and Jack sings

I know a girl who's tough but sweet

She's so fine, she can't be beat

She's got everything that I desire

Sets the summer sun on fire

I want Lizzie

I want Lizzie

I want Lizzie

Go to see her when the sun goes down

Ain't no finer girl in town

You're my girl, what the doctor ordered

So sweet, you make my mouth water

I want Lizzie

I want Lizzie

I want Lizzie

Lizzie on the beach, there's nothing better

But I like Lizzie when she's wrapped in a sweater

Some day soon I'll make you mine

Then I'll have Lizzie all the time

I want Lizzie

I want Lizzie

I want Lizzie

Lizzie in the morning time,

Lizzie in the hot sunshine.

Lizzie-love can't you see,

All I want is your candy!

(Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey)

All I want is your candy!

[dips Lizzie down and kisses her

Assistant Director, Director and cast: Awwwwwwww! (minus Will of course)

Assistant Director[wipes fake tear okay, time for the Black Pearl Crew song. Its a Michael Jackson song and I think you'll like it. Barbossa, behave this time!

Barbossa:

Its close to midnight and something evils lurking in the dark

Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart

You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it

You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,

Youre paralyzed

Crew:

Cause this is thriller, thriller night

And no ones gonna save you from the beast about strike

You know its thriller, thriller night

Youre fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight

Barbossa:

You hear the door slam and realize theres nowhere left to run

You feel the cold hand and wonder if youll ever see the sun

You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination

But all the while you hear the creature creepin up behind

Youre out of time

Crew:

cause this is thriller, thriller night

There aint no second chance against the thing with forty eyes

You know its thriller, thriller night

Youre fighting for your life inside of killer, thriller tonight

Bosun:

Night creatures call

And the dead start to walk in their masquerade

Theres no escapin the jaws of the alien this time

(theyre open wide)

This is the end of your life

Jack: (to Lizzie)

Theyre out to get you, theres demons closing in on every side

They will possess you unless you change the number on your dial

Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together

All thru the night Ill save you from the terror on the screen,

Ill make you see

Crew:

That this is thriller, thriller night

cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would dare to try

Girl, this is thriller, thriller night

Jack: So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller, chiller

Thriller here tonight

**ooOoo**

**A/N: Wow, loooong post! Reviews please :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: We had a dream that we owned POTC, but we'd rather not talk about it :p**

**A/N: A teensy bit of Will bashing, but we still love him :)**

**ooOoo**

Director: YOU[pushes barbossa YOU BLINDED ME!

Barbossa: You had it coming lassie...

Director: One more stunt like that and you're... you're...

Barbossa: You can't fire me now, can't you?

Director: Yeah. I can't. Anyway, Lizzie! You're up! Sweet Escape by Gwen Stefani... You and Jack... Someone please tie Will down on the chair over there... [points to a chair in the front row So he could suffer ... [laughs evily

Will: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! SHE'S MY FIANCEE!!!

Director: Our musical... [points to the Assistant director Right Brit?

Assistant Director: Right. Now... shush so I could enjoy this one. puts duck tape on will's mouth

Jack: whistles at Lizzie

Lizzie[wearing this: http://us(dot)st11. Before I start, what is a refrigerator?

Director: Something that cools stuff. I'll show you later.. but now, seduce Jack [cough cough, sing, dance!

Lizzie[rolls eyes, and starts If I could escape

I would, but first of all let me say

I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor

It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator

Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

If I could escape

And re-create a place as my own world

And I could be your favorite girl

Forever, perfectly together

Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet

I know I've been a real bad girl

I didn't mean for you to get hurt

Forever, we can make it better

Tell me boy, Now wouldn't that be sweet?

Sweet escape

Jack: You can escape with me.. [whispers breathlessly

Lizzie[pushes him away playfully

You let me down

I'm at my lowest boiling point

Come help me out

I need to get me out of this joint

Come on, let's bounce

Counting on you to turn me around

Instead of clowning around let's look for some common ground

So baby, times getting a little crazy

I've been getting a little lazy

Waiting for you to come save me

I can see that you're angry

By the way the you treat me

Hopefully you don't leave me

Want to take you with me

If I could escape

And re-create a place as my own world

And I could be your favorite girl

Forever, perfectly together

Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet

I know I've been a real bad girl

I didn't mean for you to get hurt

Forever, we can make it better

Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

Sweet escape

Jack: Lizzie should do more numbers like this!

Will[duck tape falling off, drooling, wipes mouth, and looks away like the honorable man he is

Lizzie[winks, and whispers in Jack's ear

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor

It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator

Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

[goes out into the stage again

If I could escape

And re-create a place in my own world

And I could be your favorite girl

Forever, perfectly together

Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

If I could be sweet

I know I've been a real bad girl

I didn't mean for you to get hurt

Forever, we can make it better

Tell me boy, now wouldn't that be sweet?

Sweet escape

[whispers into Jack's ear again Sweet Escape [kisses him

Will[speechless

Gov. Swann[passes by Elizabeth! What vile thing are you wearing! What are you doing, making out or whatever you kids call it nowadays... with that pirate! He's not your fiance! Elizabeth! Go back into your room and change[turns to Director I will not have my daughter wear something like... that!

Director[whistles, two soldier from the EIC come and takes Gov. Swann by arm Take him away boys.. lock him in the... supply, closet. [calls Lizzie Lizzie! You'll have another number like this a bit later! go ahead and change in that.. other... sexy outfit.. you have...

**ooOoo**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: We don't own it Pirates of the Caribbean... word.**

**A/N: We're not exactly "bashing" will, he's just so much fun to prod and play with, lol.**

**ooOoo**

Assistant Director: We've got a great run of songs so far, crew, but we've still got more to come.

Director: Aye, Lizzie, you're up again.

Will: How come she has more bloody songs than anyone else in the entire crew?

Director: Because she's my Jacky-poo's onscreen sweetheart.

Will: SHE MARRIED ME!

Director: "..." [glares

Assistant Director: Remember that we all agreed that the marriage wasn't valid because it was done by the unordained Barbossa?

Will[grumbles

Lizzie[snuggles Jack

Jack [smirks

Director and Assistant Director: Awww...

Assistant Director: Okay, that settled, you're got a new song Lizzie. Its called "Head Over Heels" by the Go-Gos.

Director: Eh, this costume isn't working for me, who gave her that? Director: I didn't approve that.

Lizzie: Father made me wear it.

Jack: Where did all the pretty skin go? Skin is good.

Director: Assistant Director, fix her up

Assistant Director: How's that Lizzie? Ooh, I like! Lizzie, doesn't it remind of of what you were wearing that first time we...

Lizzie: Jack!

Jack: Aw, come on love. I think its pretty obvious to everybody that we make...

Lizzie: Brownies[blushing Uh, we make...brownies...every night. [coughs

Jack: Hot, warm, sweet, luscious brownies, darlin' [wink

Will: SOMEONE PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!

[music plays and Lizzie sings

Been running so long

I've nearly lost all track of time

In every direction

I couldn't see the warning signs

I must be losin' it

'Cuz my mind plays tricks on me

It looked so easy

But you know looks sometimes deceive

Been running so fast

Right from the starting line

No more connections

I don't need any more advice

One hand's just reaching out

And one's just hangin' on

It seems my weaknesses

Just keep going strong

Jack: I know what makes you weak, love [smirk

Lizzie[blushes and giggles

(Chorus)

Head over heels

Where should I go

Can't stop myself

Outta control

Head over heels

No time to think

Looks like

The whole world's out of sync

Been running so hard

When what I need is to unwind

The voice of reason

Is one I left so far behind

I waited so long

So long to play this part

And just remembered

That I'd forgotten about my heart

(Chorus)

Assistant director: Hm, not bad.

Gibbs: Uh, Miss Jaeh? Will's having spasms over here. He says he needs a girl.

Director: Pirates and their identity crisis. ([mocking) "I never knew my father" "define me!" "I need loooove".

Assistant Director: ([in cool, soothing therapist voice) Will, you are a strong man and don't need a woman to complete you, it'll be okay. Someone will give you a nice song soon. Ooh, maybe you could do a coming out song with Beckett?

Will: I AM NOT GAY!!!!!

Director[mumbles denial is a classic symptom...


End file.
